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Every year I get the same messages in July. "Is now a weird time to ask about this?" "Where do I even start?" "I feel like everyone already knows something I don't."
No. You're not behind, and there's no secret manual everyone else got. That's exactly why Anal August exists, a whole month where we talk about this properly, instead of tiptoeing around it.
This is the guide I wish existed when I was curious and had no idea where to start. No jargon, no pressure, just what actually matters.
1. Talk about it before you try it
This isn't a "nice to have," it's the actual first step. Say what you're curious about, out loud, before anything else happens. If you're doing this with a partner, that conversation is half the experience. If you're exploring solo, it still counts, get clear with yourself on what you want to try and why.
2. Lube isn't optional here
Unlike other kinds of play, this area doesn't self-lubricate. Skipping lube isn't "toughing it out," it's just uncomfortable, and discomfort is the fastest way to decide you don't like something you might have actually enjoyed.
Water-based is the easiest place to start, it's compatible with every toy material, so you don't need to think twice. BIOglide Anal Lubricant (www.simplepleasures.nz/products/bioglide-anal-lubricant-80ml) is a natural, vegan option built for exactly this. If you want to try before you commit to a full bottle, Intimate Earth's Soothe sachet (www.simplepleasures.nz/products/intimate-earth-soothe-anal-glide-foil-3-ml) is a single-use trial size, genuinely useful for a first attempt.
Use more than you think you need. Then use a bit more.
3. Start smaller than you think
This is the tip people skip and regret. Your first toy should be small, tapered, and easy to control, not the one that looks the most impressive on the shelf.
The Share Satisfaction 3 sizes butt plug kit (www.simplepleasures.nz/products/share-satisfaction-play-silicone-butt-plug) exists for exactly this reason: soft silicone plugs in three sizes so you can start small and work your way to slightly larger options. If gradual is more your speed, a graduated set like the Share Satisfaction Anal Beads (www.simplepleasures.nz/products/share-satisfaction-anal-beads) lets you go one size at a time and stop wherever feels right.
Bigger isn't the goal. Comfortable is the goal.
4. Slow down more than feels necessary
Rushing is the single biggest reason people have a bad first experience. Go slower than feels natural. Pause often. Breathe. Nothing here is a race, and there's no point where you're "supposed" to be by now.
If something feels tight, that's your body telling you to pause, not push through. Relaxation does more work than force ever will.
5. Keep it simple, hygiene-wise
This one causes more anxiety than it needs to. A shower beforehand and a body-safe, easy-to-clean toy covers the basics. You don't need a routine. You just need to not overthink it.
6. This isn't a "her" thing or a "him" thing
Prostate pleasure is a real, well-documented thing, and it's for anyone with a prostate, not a niche interest. If that's you, a purpose-built prostate massager like the Rocks Off Big Boy 7-Speed (www.simplepleasures.nz/products/rocks-off-big-boy-7-speed-prostate-massager) is a genuinely good entry point: intuitive shape, straightforward controls, nothing overcomplicated.
7. When you're ready to go further
Once you know this is something you enjoy, there's a real step up in what's available, better materials, vibration, more nuanced shapes. The b-Vibe Anal Massage & Education Set (www.simplepleasures.nz/products/b-vibe-anal-massage-and-education-set) is built for exactly that stage: a proper set for people who've done the beginner round and want to keep exploring.
You don't need to start here. But it's good to know it exists for when you do.
8. There's no "right" way to do this
Some people try this once and love it. Some try it and decide it's not for them. Both are completely fine outcomes. The only actual goal is that you get to find out for yourself, without pressure, shame, or a countdown clock.
That's the whole point of Anal August. Not to convince you of anything, just to make the "where do I even start" part easier than it usually is.
**Curious where to start?**
Explore the Anal collection →(https://www.simplepleasures.nz/collections/anal)
*Have questions we didn't cover? Email us at mail@simplepleasures.nz, we answer these honestly, every time.*
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