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I run a legal, tax paying, adult wellness business in New Zealand. Last week, in the space of a few days, two pieces of standard business infrastructure decided that wasn't good enough.
Round one: the bank
I applied for an EFTPOS terminal, the same way any small business does when it needs to take a card payment. Instead of a straightforward approval, my application went into extended review. Not because of anything wrong with my paperwork, my credit, or my compliance. Because of the kind of products my business sells.
The process felt less like onboarding a customer and more like being interviewed as a suspect. I sat through it, answered what was asked, and waited.
It ended well. Someone on the review team looked past the category and applied actual common sense. Application approved. I should have felt like celebrating. Mostly I felt tired, and a little hollowed out by how much energy it took to get there.
Round two: the platform
A few days later, a well known campaign management platform rejected my business account outright. No review process this time, just a message from their moderation team confirming that this type of business isn't supported under their terms and policies, and that they wouldn't be proceeding with the account.
No conversation. No appeal. Door shut.
The part that actually surprised me
I genuinely thought we'd moved past this. That a woman running a legitimate wellness business in 2026 wouldn't still have to prove she isn't a liability just to get paid or get seen. Judging by my week, the infrastructure hasn't caught up, even though the customers clearly have.
And that's really the heart of it. This isn't a complaint about two companies having a bad week. It's a pattern. Payment processors and ad platforms quietly decide which businesses get to exist in the marketplace, and adult wellness keeps landing on the wrong side of that decision, regardless of legality, tax status, or actual demand.
Why I'm building a room instead of waiting for a door
Here's what two rejections in one week clarified for me: if the standard channels for getting paid and getting seen won't carry a business like mine, the answer isn't to argue louder with a moderation team. It's to build a channel that doesn't need their approval.
That's the honest reason Curious Adult Market exists. It's a real, in person space in Auckland where businesses like mine, and the customers already looking for us, can actually find each other, without a bank or an algorithm deciding we're not welcome first.
If you've hit similar walls building something honest, I'd genuinely like to hear about it. And if you're curious about the market itself, details are below.
Curious Adult Market runs 26 September at Ponsonby Community Centre. 18+, no judgment, no pretending.
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